Friday, September 30, 2011

Gasoline veins
Sparked to enlighten
Philosophy tightened
He who lives and dies illuminated
Alternatively acclimated
Perseverance into night
Despite light fright
Moth to flame
Who's to blame?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Feed me knowledge
I will emanate power
For in this world
The ignorant are devoured

Monday, September 26, 2011

I am on the path to redemption
Well, not quite, that's a deception
All I truly seek is to relieve this tension
The alternate routes are not worthy of mention

I shall try to rekindle my essence
Find a cure to this pestilence
Maybe I truly do need repentance
Or is it another trick to just end this?

I cannot know any more
My self was lost long ago
Will it come back I do not know
Will I adopt a new shell for show
Will I obtain a new lifestyle
I need to be alone
For a while
Their congruence
Will never be
Without my happiness

My happiness
Will never be
Without solace

My solace
Will never be
Without solitude

My solitude
Will never be
Without platitude

My platitude
Will never be.

The only way for me to survive
Is for myself to commit suicide
The only obstacle being
I am not ready to die
I am not ready for them to cry
I am not ready to decide
I cannot bear with this tear inside

So I will go on
Nothing will change
I will continue pushing this boulder
A constant struggle, estranged
Constantly looking over my shoulder
Wishing I could love and hold "her"

This is how I will spend the remainder of my days

Sunday, September 25, 2011

In Justice

I will go out in a blaze of glory
Ignoring the cave and the allegory
Stated simply, a stoic story
Well aware of those who will abhor me
But even so, there exist many who'll adore me
And their betters, those who will outscore me

I have nothing to lose
And everything to prove
Sending a statement of seething hate
That will melt the current state
Feared to be, is that fickle fable, fate

An army of absurd animals
Against the gods in suits
Consumers of forbidden fruits
We chose this hell
The demons will be felled

From the tops of towers
They will rain in freedom showers
Humanity's finest hours
The will to power
For this fatal moment
The world is ours

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Fiery scene in my gaze
I remain unfazed
I see the horizon
My life is alive
A bird flies in
Not just surviving
No more downsizing
Mark the world
With masterful incising
Memorize your design
Never forget the benign
For in this dimension
All are worthy of mention
An epiphany
Simple naivity

I lost myself
I saved my life

I never surmised
Myself, self-despised

In order to fulfill my goal
I had become what I hated
I nearly lost my soul
For the meanwhile the new self is abated
Even though it makes no sense I truly wish
To become the same boy that I was before this
I always felt the way I was becoming was amiss
The boy was always tugging at my conscience
Like a child attaining attention from its cold parents

I won't ignore him any more
This is in order to avoid becoming something I abhor
Goodbye Michael,
This is where I close the door,
I no longer need to settle a score
I found something more

Non omnis moriar

Monday, September 12, 2011

My conscience won't respond, my only correspondent
My life seems prolonged, an existence despondent
I grip onto irrelevancies to preserve an expired meaning
I slip into futility, leaving me to a tired reality, dreaming

I long for a purpose in this world
A sphere worthless, fetal and curled
Can there exist a mutual mind for the undefined?
Obscure thought, with no sign of becoming benign

I wish to become an entity in another plane
Repeating chores for validity seems insane
Spinning the wheel of life, to admire how far you've come
Expanding your fief, despite the world being a zero sum

I implore you to save me from this world of grey
I desperately try to find a reason, but it is nearing the day
Where I no longer have the will, to impose my stay
Such an appeasing thought, I continue to fray

Time flows on, as if to convey
It doesn't matter, either way

Saturday, September 10, 2011

My conscience keeps spiraling inward
I can't save myself from this darkness
I can't resist the temptations forever
Please anyone save my soul
I can't feel anything but a hole
I feel like I'm going out of control
Something inside me I cannot withhold
Rearing its head as if to say "No more old"
It just needs a release, an escape
I fear it can't be coaxed away from its fate
The walls close around me I have no choice
I want to scream but I have no voice
I cannot cry I cannot die
I let out an ambiguous sigh
Michael won't you sleep?
To allow your conscience a moment to weep?
No of course not, that would be admitting defeat.
Delusions of grandeur control you, a fleeting feat

Won't you open your heart for us?
Don't you have something to discuss?
I thought I was someone you could trust
I saw your heart sink into the ocean
You didn't even make a commotion

Could this be the tides of a hard lesson?
The knowledge that your contrived pain would never lessen?
I know you believe the solution is solitude
But you must realize that answer is crude
Yes, even though for the meantime you can only brood
In the depths of your mind you do require the same food

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I need it to live

The moments come one by one
The times when I become the polar of Eros
Unavoidable like the death of the Pharaohs
I force myself to slow, in order to soak up the upcoming show

It's an unshakable insatiable lust, one which renders me incapable of trust
I fear and fawn over the inevitable inability to control myself, even though I must
A hunger so severe I cannot tell how far my carnal consumption will go
A fraudulent, vacillating reality, phasing in and out, to and fro

Every time I try to become a person
My cruel condition seems to worsen
An impossible, crushing burden

I stare into my lifeless eyes
I search for the answer
To why everyone dies
But they are filled with lies
Each being an Iris I despise
Hatred linked to the inability to cry

I occasionally forget to resist death
Perhaps for the best
Yes, a world without me, one less

It ends abruptly
Although no one can disrupt me
I regain my self
Discard the marred memory to the solitary shelf
Until next time
The emaciated ending of the subhuman sublime

Saturday, September 3, 2011

I guess I am a loner
Heading down a stray path
To try and find the greener grass
No happiness ever lasts
So I try to live in the past
I want to experience love
And feel my soul fly so high above
I wait for that feeling to come
But it never does

So I go through my day
Emptiness filling the way
Will this feeling ever dissipate
I have nothing to hope for so I just wait
For an imaginary savior called fate