I feel like an atom being split in two
Or not even being split into two, but becoming two atoms at once
Constantly switching between a sick sadistic psychopath
To a benevolent visionary more radical than Buddha
A constant battle between Eros and Thanatos
Why won't one side win?
Am I to be torn apart internally eternally?
I don't even care who wins any more
I can't think about what's right or wrong
I just want to be a person, whoever it may turn out to be
Being a being is being denied to me